


red velvet boxes

by moxleysbaby



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, just a bit of angst and fluff really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:13:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26554891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moxleysbaby/pseuds/moxleysbaby
Summary: You see, when Ben was hurt, which he no doubt was by Callum’s rejection, he didn’t say much. He got quieter, got more in his head which would be running at a million miles an hour which would also scare Callum because he doesn’t want him to hold it all in. But this, this is worse because he doesn’t know how to make Ben stop and just talk to him. Callum follows him into the kitchen and watches him flurry around clearly trying to hide his hurt.or- the one where ben's hurt by callum's rejection
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway & Ben Mitchell, Callum "Halfway" Highway & Ben Mitchell & Lexi Pearce
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	red velvet boxes

**Author's Note:**

> it's been ages since i wrote and actually finished something so i really hope you enjoy x
> 
> also, i don't know how this fits with canon so yeah just go with it!

“Forget it, stupid idea anyways,” Callum sighed as he heard the door shut behind Ben. He hadn’t meant to doubt Ben’s intentions but he was conflicted and he couldn’t help but wonder whether the only reason that he had asked Callum to move in was because he wanted to distract Callum from the fact that he’d lied about something so big for months and months on end. 

Of course Callum wants to move in with Ben, he had missed Ben so much all those months of not being able to properly see him or touch him, feel his soft hands holding onto Callum’s as they strolled around together. He wanted nothing more than to be able to come home after a long day at work to the man he loves but he wanted Ben to stop lying and start trusting him more. 

He couldn’t move in with Ben if he’s going to spend the entire time worrying about whether or not Ben has lied to him again. He needed to be certain that he could trust Ben to not lie and that Ben could trust him enough to confide in him before he made any commitments like moving in with him. 

Ben didn’t wander for long, he had just gone to the car lot to lick his wounds in private before he came back to the house. When he came back his behaviour threw Callum for six, he just walked into the living room, took the box off the table, where it had continued to sit after he left, put it back in the drawer and then turned to Callum with a smile that they both knew was fake and asked if he wanted a cuppa cause he was having one and if Callum wanted one then he could make one for him too and also did he want Ben to make dinner or did he want to get takeout and if he wanted takeout then where did he want it from so that he could order it soon. 

He continued rambling about something or the other as he walked into the kitchen but Callum wasn’t paying much attention when all he could think about was how weird Ben was acting. 

You see, when Ben was hurt, which he no doubt was by Callum’s rejection, he didn’t say much. He got quieter, got more in his head which would be running at a million miles an hour which would also scare Callum because he doesn’t want him to hold it all in. But this, this is worse because he doesn’t know how to make Ben stop and just talk to him. Callum follows him into the kitchen and watches him flurry around clearly trying to hide his hurt. 

The entire evening continues on like this as Lexi gets home from school and they order the takeout. Though he does think Ben is being genuine when he’s around Lexi, he asks all about her day and what they learnt today and how much she’s loving being able to see her friends again. 

There were moments when Callum was talking to Lexi and he glanced over at Ben that he saw him, withdrawn and hunched over, almost like he was curling in on himself to become as small as physically possible. But then Lexi would talk to him and he’d go back to putting on the fake smile he’d strolled into the house with. Even after Lexi had been put to bed, Ben was still acting like nothing had happened this afternoon. 

There were moments that Callum wanted to bring it up but it was just never the right moment, the Mitchell house was still very full and there was always someone interrupting. But there was no way that Callum would let them both go to bed while Ben was still clearly very hurt and while Callum hadn’t fully explained the reasons why he hadn’t jumped at the chance to properly live with Ben. 

They had both got ready for bed in relative silence as Ben drew into himself and his head. Callum tried to make conversation a few times but he quickly realised that he wasn’t going to get much back. It was only when they were both in bed that Callum tried to bring the events of this afternoon up again. 

“Ben we really should talk about what happened today. I don’t want us going to bed angry at each other,” wearily looking on, Callum waited for Ben’s response.

“Can we talk tomorrow? It’s been a long day and Lexi’s run me ragged tonight and I just wanna get some sleep.” Ben didn’t wait for a response he just pulled the blanket over himself, turning away to face the wall. 

Callum knew better than to push and he didn’t want this to turn into a screaming match that might wake the house up so he conceded for the night and pulled the blanket over himself. He stayed facing Ben’s back and he could tell that the other man wasn’t sleeping, even if he did try and lay stockstill to give off the impression. The tension in his shoulders gave him away. 

For as long as Callum was awake, he knew that Ben was too though he wasn’t sure how much longer after he had drifted off that Ben stayed awake. It wasn’t until a few hours later when the emptiness of the bed woke Callum up and he noticed Ben missing. He listened out for any noise that might give away where Ben was but there wasn’t any. It didn’t take long for Callum to find him in the living room downstairs just sitting on the sofa.

Ben was fiddling with the box he had presented to Callum earlier, while a cold and grim-looking cup of tea sat on the coffee table. Callum shuffled closer towards Ben’s figure on the sofa, “what’re you still doin’ up?” 

“Just woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep, didn’t wanna wake you up so I came down here.” The smile Ben gave was small, his eyes filled with hurt as he replied. He tried not to think of Ben’s red-rimmed eyes being caused by him and rather because he hadn’t slept yet but Callum knew that the likelihood of that was low. The flushed cheeks and wet lashes had given that away. 

Callum could tell that Ben hadn’t really slept, he had probably been down here for ages, maybe even a few hours torturing himself by messing with this box. His entire demeanor gave away that fact. 

“What you doing with this?” Callum gestured towards the box Ben had been fiddling with. 

“Nothing, just not really sure what to do with it that’s all, it’s fine you should get back to bed I’ll be up in a minute myself!” Ben plastered on a slightly more believable smile though he still wasn’t doing much to convince Callum who was seeing right through him. 

Ben made to get up when Callum’s gentle hand on his elbow stopped him, “Ben, we really should talk about earlier.”

Knowing he wasn’t getting out of this a second time, Ben sat back down waiting for Callum to speak. 

“I don’t not want to move in with you Ben, I missed you so much all those months not being able to properly see ya or be with ya. But I can’t take the lying anymore.” Callum took a breath, he needed to word this tactfully or he’d give off the wrong impression, “I can’t be having to worry whether I’ve just come home to my boyfriend lying to me again. I need to be able to trust you and I want you to be able to trust me too! I’m your boyfriend and I’m here for you. I want you to trust me enough to confide in me.”

“I do. I do trust you, I just, there’s little parts of me that just make it hard for me to tell you certain things… I can’t control it but I am working on it and I do trust you. I just…” Ben took in a shaky breath, “I told you before we even started this that I am messed up and I don’t deserve you and I just get scared that the next thing I tell you is going to be the last straw, it’s gonna be the one that makes you realise that I was right all along and you’d be better off without me.”

Callum turned to face Ben properly making sure he was holding eye contact and really listening to what he was about to say, “whether or not you deserve me is not a question because you are always going to have me, yeah? Whether you want me or not, whether you think you deserve me or not, I am not going anywhere. I’m only ever asking for you to trust me and be honest with me, that’s all I want.” 

“I’m sorry, really I am, I shouldn’t have lied and I should’ve trusted you but Callum, I need you to know that me asking you to move in wasn’t just some gesture that I thought would change the subject or make you forget about what I’ve done. I missed you a lot during all this lockdown and not being able to see ya for months on end it just makes me want to be around you all the time and I thought that you moving in would mean that that would never have to happen again.”

“I do, wanna move in with ya I mean, it’s just like I said, I need ya to trust me enough to tell me about the things in your life. Just, have faith in me and my love for you, because there is a whole lot of it.” Ben’s soft smile eased Callum’s mind a bit because he could tell this one was genuine, “Just have faith in my love for you that I am not going anywhere and I am not going to think badly of you no matter what you tell me. Don’t forget, I knew exactly who you were and are before I got with you. I see you, remember?” 

Ben doesn’t speak for a few seconds but the soft smile on his face tells Callum that he’s probably just overwhelmed with it all and needs some time to take it all in. He’s more than happy to wait for that. 

“I do not deserve you.”

“Maybe not, but you’ve got me anyways. For as long as you want me.” Callum takes the box gently out of Ben’s hands. “Offer still on the table?”

“What?”

“To move in, is the offer still on the table?”

The small smile that crossed Ben’s face only grew bigger as he replied, “course it is, was never off the table.”

Callum opened up the velvet coated box in his hands to reveal the key Ben presented to him earlier, he took the key out of the box before snapping it shut and passing it back to Ben. “Should probably get packin’ soon then shouldn’t I?”

Ben tossed the box to the side not caring where it landed as he drew Callum in for a kiss with both hands on his cheeks. 

“I love you,” he breathed into Callum’s mouth between kisses. 

The pair eventually broke apart long enough to get back to their bed. 

*****

In the comfortable silence of the night, they lay together wrapped in each other's arms. Ben’s head resting on Callum’s shoulder taking comfort in the warmth and affection his boyfriend provided. Callum had a hand over Ben’s arm draped across his stomach and the other was rubbing at the small of Ben’s back. 

Being awake at this time of night left Ben feeling mellow and relaxed. Feeling and hearing the thumping of Callum’s heart beneath his ear was soothing, it grounded him. It also made it easier for him to open up which is why he found himself breaking the comfortable quiet surrounding them, “I never thanked you, did I?”

“What?”

Ben tilted his head up and found bright blue eyes staring back in confusion, “just for being so… you. All those months, I can’t have been the easiest person to be around much less be in a relationship with but you were just so, lovely and caring and I don’t ever want you to think I don’t notice or appreciate it because I do. I appreciate it so so much.”

“Oh Ben, you don’t have to tell me cause that I know you do and besides, you were going through a lot of things with your hearing and losing Dennis, I don’t blame you for it. They definitely weren’t the smartest ideas you’ve ever had but I don’t blame you for it.”

“Nah, smartest idea I ever had was going for the tall fit one in the pub who was pretending to be straight.” That earned Ben a light slap to his chest and an indignant look from Callum which didn’t last long as both men fell into fits of laughter. 

“Cheeky little bastard ain’t ya?”

“Yeah but you love it,” Ben smirked.

“No, I love you,” Ben’s smirk softened into an adoring smile as he puckered his lips for a kiss that Callum would never deny him. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed! please leave a comment if you did!
> 
> find me here!  
> [@mitchellandhighway on tumblr](https://mitchellandhighway.tumblr.com/)  
> [@callumhiqhway on twitter](https://twitter.com/callumhiqhway)


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